someone smack me around..

This week has been horrible.. Its almost like I am sabotaging myself.. I can't stop eating junk and exercise has been minimal.. (today has been good so far!) I have not got this far to start ruining myself now.. and its not so much a fear of not losing that 10 lbs I still want to lose.. its a total fear of gaining it all back..for the first time in my life my body isn't my biggest  insecurity anymore.. while I am far from perfect I don't want to cry every time I look in the mirror like I did before I started all this...Some prayers and a few swift kicks in the rear-end are needed.. and someone needs to come into my house late at night and tape my mouth shut.. that is all.